I just heard that this year's Mumbai "Winter" Fashion Week is going to be held in the first week of August. The pot of swelter that is currently Mumbai is, of course, the best time to showcase the faux fur, leather jeggings and thigh-high boots that are guaranteed to be centre-stage.
An inordinate number of Fashion Weeks seem to be bombing down upon us throughout the year nowadays, some well known and some, well, not so much (Rajasthan Fashion Week anyone?!). And just how useful are these anyway? I'm sure that many of you, like me, looked at the pictures of the "Summer" fashion weeks held a little while ago and read the fashionistas’ blogs and thought "Hmmm, all this talk of clashing floral prints, peplums and neons, sporty luxe, sheen and edgy laser cut dresses is well and good, but how does this translate into what I'm going to wear during MY summer?
And what the hell is the pajamas-as-eveningwear trend anyway, when it’s not adorning a model's perfect clothes-hangeresque body?”
So what are you going to pick up from the many many interpretations of these clothes that litter the racks at Zara, Mango, Vero Moda, Shoppers Stop etc (And are now infact on 50-70% sales!)?
Are you going to be the girl who:
A) continues to look at the hundreds of"absolute must-buys" that your Femina, Grazia, Vogue or Cosmo are showcasing and feel that all this fashion malarky is not really your thing.
B) out of sheer fear, uncertainty, lack of knowledge or shortage of time, just skips the potential pop to your wardrobe that one single trendy item can add? The zing to your step that will make you a fashionista? Or even better, a stylista!
C) will try to convincing herself and her girlfriends that "I'm faaaaaar too busy to bother with something as pretentious as fashion, darling!"
Or are you going to be the babe who will find the one or two gorgeous pieces that will provide the perfect on-trend edge to the wardrobe, while being comfortable, budget friendly and of course, absoutely YOU?
Converting fresh off the runway looks into practical wearable style is an art. But one that can be learnt. I guarantee it. And once you do learn it, it brings with it the huge advantage of making you feel incredibly superior to the lesser mortals around you.
Now, do you want to be that girl?
I have a friend who is petrified of dresses.
How, you ask, could one be so scared of a few metres of cloth fashioned in a
shape that all of us were very comfortable with at the age of three? Oh, but she
is. Terrified, that is.
Post delivering the most adorable little baby boy, and my first nephew (well
done, darling!) a couple of years ago, she has just not had the time or energy to
shed as many of her pregnancy pounds as she would like. For convenience sake (and because she lives
so far from me that I haven't been able to get my hands on her wardrobe to
empty it out 
!), she has taken to hiding her voluptuous figure in long indian kurtas.
If she does, at all, venture into the territory of non-Indian clothes, it's a
long skirt and a long top. Hence, the severe emotional distress at the
thought of a "dress". Of course, in her mind, a "dress" is
what Bollywood starlets parade their starved bodies in on Page 3 i.e. very short, very tight and optionally-sleeved.
After a lot of persuasion, I finally convinced her to come shopping with me for
a dress. I won't deny that there were a few false starts - some dresses were
not the right length (and she's very conscious about her thighs), some hugged
her round bottom too close, the sleeveless ones were shooed away even without a
trial (her upper arms have not been exposed to the world in over 36 months).
She was starting to get annoyed with me. Comments about "mutton dressed as
lamb" could distinctly be heard (and that was probably the most
complementary thing I was called that day). But finally, we found a deceptively
simple looking indigo blue chiffon dress. I bullied her into trying it on (Yes, bullying is a particular skill set of mine. I'm very proud of it.). Add some sparkly heels and dangly earrings and lo & behold, suddenly this incredibly sexy, voluptuous, just plain
YUMMY being emerged from the dressing room. And every single girl waiting
outside the dressing room for their turn went Ooooooooooooooooooooooh!
The colour – a gorgeous gorgeous indigo blue - was just perfect for her wheatish
skintone. The a-line, knee length bottom half disguised the hips and thighs
very well. The top half had a neck low enough to show off a hint of her
impressive assets, yet was demure enough to wear in front of her conservative
in-laws. And miraculously, even the lack of sleeves didn't matter because it
was just such a flattering fit and cut. All in all, it was a dress made for her.
She wore it to her sister's birthday party and loved every minute of once again
feeling like the hot chick that she used to be, before she started hiding her
figure in tent-like clothes, dancing her heart out on the dancefloor all
evening, feeling and looking every inch the beautiful beautiful woman that she
is 
.
And today she called me and said, Babe, I need an outfit for my son's third
birthday party, so let's go buy me a dress!
In
polite company, I call her my slim friend. Do you have one of those? And do you
hate her as much as I hate mine? She can hoover up pizza, beer and
cheesecake without putting on an ounce. Unlike me, who has put on a half kilo
in last 10 seconds, just dreaming about these delights. My friend has enviably slim legs and arms,
which I have stared at with envy since our teens. However, I do have the larger
boobs and nipped in waist that she longs for . All in all, she's a straighter
body type ; biggest con - less defined curves ; biggest pro -fewer bulges. So, how would I dress
her? Why, she's the perfect clothes hangar!
Skinny chic is an enviable dream for a large majority of Indian women 
. But if you have the shape girlfriend, I say - Flaunt It!
If I had my way, I would
send her to work in tailored shirts tucked into low-waisted trousers with smart
belts and understated jewellery to underline the look with easy elegance. Lucky
cow, she can get away without needing to wear high heels because of her slim
legs. A waistcoat or cinched belt will create the illusion of a curving waist
on the days she wants to go the extra mile. And that's it, her smart look for
the corporate world is complete!
Her party look is a
sequined tank with the tapering coloured jeans. Yes, these would be the very same jeans that make
my thighs look like mincemeat over-stuffed into a sausage, but when it comes to
her, they just change their mind and cling to her butt in a way that makes you
want to just reach out and squeeeeeze 
.
And don't get me started on
the casual lounging-about look she does SO effortlessly in shorts and a loose
top, with maybe a couple of cute necklaces and some eye makeup.
Only this type of body
shape can carry off the high neck sleeveless military-ish tops that make girls
with larger boobs look like they're ready to burst out. Combined with slim
fitting jeans or carrot pants, this girl is going to look like she's stepped
off the pages of a fashion mag!
Now that she's on
sabbatical looking after her new-born, especially with a small post-pregnancy
tummy, I would put her in linen trousers with structured tops made from cotton
in the summer and raw silk in the winter.
For family ocassions, I can
showcase her slim thighs to full advantage in bright lycra churidars with
contrasting short kurtis in a rich broacade and some mojris.
Oh not for this girl, the
need to think about slimming black or monotone outfits - she can deliver my
absolutely favourite way of creating impact - colour, colour and more colour!
Contrasting layers mean she looks younger or sportier without much of an effort
(of course, us curvy girls need to be more careful with these).
Now who wouldn't want to be
this gorgeous elegantly sexy gal? 
So, frozen margarita season is well and truly upon us. Or kala-khatta ice gola season. Whichever your preference may be. To kickstart the weekend, we invited a couple of friends over on Friday evening, ostensibly, to enjoy the late evening sea breeze on our tiny balcony, but in reality to indulge my craving for fresh watermelon cocktails 
. As dusk approached, I scanned my closet to pick out a light summer dress to pair with the iced drinks and I realised that - but of course! I have nothing to wear. Absolutely not a thing.
You know what comes next, ladies 
. A scheme was hatched very quickly the following morning to “invest” in a few light and breezy summery outfits. Being the obsessive planner I am, I made a meticulous plan for the perfect summer capsule wardrobe and off I went on a Saturday jaunt to tick some items off my list.
However (and isn't there always a however?), when faced with the two limitations of many Indian women (i) a budget and (ii) a body lovingly nourished with french fries, blueberry cheesecakes, pepperoni pizza and every form of carbohydrate on this planet, my excitement-laden hope of finding lots of lovely new things turned into miserable frustration, at the fact that - Nothing Fits Right!
If the store actually stocks summery linen trousers that make it up past up my knees to encase my well-rounded bottom, the waist gaps at the back. If the waistband is stretchy and hence, fits me, the narrow trouser legs, often without any stretch in the fabric, make my thighs look like over-stuffed sausages. If the trouser legs are miraculously wide enough, the crotch area often creates an unsightly 'camel-toe' effect. If the skirt rests comfortably over my muffin-top tummy, it stops exactly three inches above my knees to show off the fat deposits that adorn my plump thighs. If I find the perfect shirt that subtly flatters my waist, then of course, it has to be popping open at the bust.
Aaaargh! I get annoyed at the sales people, I vow to lose weight (starting right now!), I think about control underwear that doesn't allow one to breathe. And the more clothes I try, the more depressed I get. So I throw up my hands in frustration, eat a Costa chocolate muffin, tell myself that its a lost cause and that aaj kal ke clothes are made for skinny under-developed 15 year old teeny boppers and just cannot suit me.
Now of course, that isn't true. I'm just a regular Indian body type, who needs to be particular about the type of clothes I wear. Unfortunately, the high street in India is largely made up of European chains - Mango, Zara, French Connection, Promod, Bennetton or its copycat cousins Chemistry, Lifestyle, Pantaloons, Cottonworld. And the problem is that many of their clothes are patterned for the French, Italian and German ladies. Rather unfortunately for them, most European sized women do not have the lovely curvy bodies that us Indian women are blessed with. We have boobs, waists and hips (sometimes more of one than the others 
), whereas, European women are generally taller and more of a straighter shape than us. So doesn't that leave you with an Aaaaargh?
Not to worry. The secret to elegance in such a scenario is just a one-word password away. Tailoring. For you and me, the answer is grown-up tailoring. Leave the thin, clingy, skimpy items to the anorexic 15 year olds. Avoid the 100% cotton or the 100% lycra. All you and I need to do is to find the simple looking, but well-fitting tailored separates, with the right amount of stretch. These simple separates might look plain on their own, but once they come together in the right colour combination or with the right accessory, voila! you are the very epitome of Curvy Chic . Enjoy your curves, ladies!
