I dare you to ignore the Indian hips

So, frozen margarita season is well and truly upon us. Or kala-khatta ice gola season. Whichever your preference may be. To kickstart the weekend, we invited a couple of friends over on Friday evening, ostensibly, to enjoy the late evening sea breeze on our tiny balcony, but in reality to indulge my craving for fresh watermelon cocktails . As dusk approached, I scanned my closet to pick out a light summer dress to pair with the iced drinks and I realised that - but of course! I have nothing to wear. Absolutely not a thing.

You know what comes next, ladies . A scheme was hatched very quickly the following morning to “invest” in a few light and breezy summery outfits. Being the obsessive planner I am, I made a meticulous plan for the perfect summer capsule wardrobe and off I went on a Saturday jaunt to tick some items off my list.

However (and isn't there always a however?), when faced with the two limitations of many Indian women (i) a budget and (ii) a body lovingly nourished with french fries, blueberry cheesecakes, pepperoni pizza and every form of carbohydrate on this planet, my excitement-laden hope of finding lots of lovely new things turned into miserable frustration, at the fact that - Nothing Fits Right!

If the store actually stocks summery linen trousers that make it up past up my knees to encase my well-rounded bottom, the waist gaps at the back. If the waistband is stretchy and hence, fits me, the narrow trouser legs, often without any stretch in the fabric, make my thighs look like over-stuffed sausages. If the trouser legs are miraculously wide enough, the crotch area often creates an unsightly 'camel-toe' effect. If the skirt rests comfortably over my muffin-top tummy, it stops exactly three inches above my knees to show off the fat deposits that adorn my plump thighs. If I find the perfect shirt that subtly flatters my waist, then of course, it has to be popping open at the bust.

Aaaargh! I get annoyed at the sales people, I vow to lose weight (starting right now!), I think about control underwear that doesn't allow one to breathe. And the more clothes I try, the more depressed I get. So I throw up my hands in frustration, eat a Costa chocolate muffin, tell myself that its a lost cause and that aaj kal ke clothes are made for skinny under-developed 15 year old teeny boppers and just cannot suit me.

Now of course, that isn't true. I'm just a regular Indian body type, who needs to be particular about the type of clothes I wear. Unfortunately, the high street in India is largely made up of European chains - Mango, Zara, French Connection, Promod, Bennetton or its copycat cousins Chemistry, Lifestyle, Pantaloons, Cottonworld. And the problem is that many of their clothes are patterned for the French, Italian and German ladies. Rather unfortunately for them, most European sized women do not have the lovely curvy bodies that us Indian women are blessed with. We have boobs, waists and hips (sometimes more of one than the others ), whereas, European women are generally taller and more of a straighter shape than us. So doesn't that leave you with an Aaaaargh?

Not to worry. The secret to elegance in such a scenario is just a one-word password away. Tailoring. For you and me, the answer is grown-up tailoring. Leave the thin, clingy, skimpy items to the anorexic 15 year olds. Avoid the 100% cotton or the 100% lycra. All you and I need to do is to find the simple looking, but well-fitting tailored separates, with the right amount of stretch. These simple separates might look plain on their own, but once they come together in the right colour combination or with the right accessory, voila! you are the very epitome of Curvy Chic . Enjoy your curves, ladies!