Me, wear a dress?

I have a friend who is petrified of dresses. How, you ask, could one be so scared of a few metres of cloth fashioned in a shape that all of us were very comfortable with at the age of three? Oh, but she is. Terrified, that is.

Post delivering the most adorable little baby boy, and my first nephew (well done, darling!) a couple of years ago, she has just not had the time or energy to shed as many of her pregnancy pounds as she would like. For convenience sake (and because she lives so far from me that I haven't been able to get my hands on her wardrobe to empty it out !), she has taken to hiding her voluptuous figure in long indian kurtas. If she does, at all, venture into the territory of non-Indian clothes, it's a long skirt and a long top. Hence, the severe emotional distress at the thought of a "dress". Of course, in her mind, a "dress" is what Bollywood starlets parade their starved bodies in on Page 3 i.e. very short, very tight and optionally-sleeved. 

After a lot of persuasion, I finally convinced her to come shopping with me for a dress. I won't deny that there were a few false starts - some dresses were not the right length (and she's very conscious about her thighs), some hugged her round bottom too close, the sleeveless ones were shooed away even without a trial (her upper arms have not been exposed to the world in over 36 months). She was starting to get annoyed with me. Comments about "mutton dressed as lamb" could distinctly be heard (and that was probably the most complementary thing I was called that day). But finally, we found a deceptively simple looking indigo blue chiffon dress. I bullied her into trying it on (Yes, bullying is a particular skill set of mine. I'm very proud of it.). Add some sparkly heels and dangly earrings and lo & behold, suddenly this incredibly sexy, voluptuous, just plain YUMMY being emerged from the dressing room. And every single girl waiting outside the dressing room for their turn went Ooooooooooooooooooooooh!

The colour – a gorgeous gorgeous indigo blue - was just perfect for her wheatish skintone. The a-line, knee length bottom half disguised the hips and thighs very well. The top half had a neck low enough to show off a hint of her impressive assets, yet was demure enough to wear in front of her conservative in-laws. And miraculously, even the lack of sleeves didn't matter because it was just such a flattering fit and cut. All in all, it was a dress made for her. She wore it to her sister's birthday party and loved every minute of once again feeling like the hot chick that she used to be, before she started hiding her figure in tent-like clothes, dancing her heart out on the dancefloor all evening, feeling and looking every inch the beautiful beautiful woman that she is .


And today she called me and said, Babe, I need an outfit for my son's third birthday party, so let's go buy me a dress!

The skinny bitch

In polite company, I call her my slim friend. Do you have one of those? And do you hate her as much as I hate mine? She can hoover up pizza, beer and cheesecake without putting on an ounce. Unlike me, who has put on a half kilo in last 10 seconds, just dreaming about these delights. My friend has enviably slim legs and arms, which I have stared at with envy since our teens. However, I do have the larger boobs and nipped in waist that she longs for . All in all, she's a straighter body type ; biggest con - less defined curves ; biggest pro -fewer bulges. So, how would I dress her? Why, she's the perfect clothes hangar!

Skinny chic is an enviable dream for a large majority of Indian women . But if you have the shape girlfriend, I say - Flaunt It! 

If I had my way, I would send her to work in tailored shirts tucked into low-waisted trousers with smart belts and understated jewellery to underline the look with easy elegance. Lucky cow, she can get away without needing to wear high heels because of her slim legs. A waistcoat or cinched belt will create the illusion of a curving waist on the days she wants to go the extra mile. And that's it, her smart look for the corporate world is complete!

Her party look is a sequined tank with the tapering coloured jeans. Yes, these would be the very same jeans that make my thighs look like mincemeat over-stuffed into a sausage, but when it comes to her, they just change their mind and cling to her butt in a way that makes you want to just reach out and squeeeeeze . 

And don't get me started on the casual lounging-about look she does SO effortlessly in shorts and a loose top, with maybe a couple of cute necklaces and some eye makeup.  

Only this type of body shape can carry off the high neck sleeveless military-ish tops that make girls with larger boobs look like they're ready to burst out. Combined with slim fitting jeans or carrot pants, this girl is going to look like she's stepped off the pages of a fashion mag!

Now that she's on sabbatical looking after her new-born, especially with a small post-pregnancy tummy, I would put her in linen trousers with structured tops made from cotton in the summer and raw silk in the winter.

For family ocassions, I can showcase her slim thighs to full advantage in bright lycra churidars with contrasting short kurtis in a rich broacade and some mojris.

Oh not for this girl, the need to think about slimming black or monotone outfits - she can deliver my absolutely favourite way of creating impact - colour, colour and more colour! Contrasting layers mean she looks younger or sportier without much of an effort (of course, us curvy girls need to be more careful with these).

Now who wouldn't want to be this gorgeous elegantly sexy gal?